Minimalism is a Commodity

And we’re buying into it again and again at an exorbitant price.

The minimalism movement has been around for a while now. It’s not hard to see why it came about. We live in a time where we are consuming more than the human race has ever consumed before. We are chowing through new personal belongings daily. And eventually someone, or several someones, decided enough is enough, our lives are full of clutter and the more we own the more stressed we get.

The solution? A return to simpler living through:

• Cutting down personal belongings ( Does this bring me joy? No? Gone!)
• Organising home clutter
• Purchasing more expensive, better quality products that last longer.

Sounds great in theory doesn’t it? But the problem is we’ve been sold on another lifestyle ideal and it’s emptying our pockets and topping up our stress bucket.

Now, I don’t know if anyone else has noticed this, but the minimalism movement has become another thing to purchase and keep up to date with. It has become the very thing its values suggest we need to move away from. I believe it is our obsession with comparison, image and consumption that has shifted something, which was intended to mark a behavioural shift, back into our comfort zone where our learned behaviours lie.

This realisation hit me when I contemplated what it could mean to live more simply during the COVID crisis. How, with all the distraction of outings and events removed, could I focus on simply being? How can I really strive to live more grounded and connected with my family and nature now that there are less lights to dazzle me?

I love the ideal behind the minimalism movement. I am incredibly guilty of getting caught up in the clutter and adding what I desire, not what I need, to everything I already own. But the problem with striving for this simpler lifestyle now is you are told there are possessions you need to acquire in order to live it.

This seems counter-intuitive right? And that is my bugbear.

I have found myself stuck comparing my pantry’s level of organisation with Miss Instagram’s pantry organisation, resulting in increasing feelings of  inadequacy, jealousy and the need to purchase more boxes from Kmart! (A truly 21st Century conflict).

I have been told (through clever marketing tactics) that my child’s playroom should not be a chaotic mishmash of coloured toys, but rather a purposefully structured play space filled with open-ended toys, made from solid wood that will last for years to come. Yes, it’s a beautiful picture, but why does a return to simpler, less flashy toys cost me $150 for a rattan doll’s highchair or $295 for a climbing triangle? (If you don’t believe me look these things up these are real prices). It seems to me that the cost of a “simple” playroom will put me in great debt.

I am also led to believe that no matter how tidy my house is it will never be minimalist or calming enough unless my furniture is in almost all neutral tones and my house presents a timeless look (whatever that is because all looks are going to date whether you think they will or not). Of course, this requires some renovations on my part. A task that is by no means simple or minimal. And once again, a lot of cold hard cash.

The more I explore it the more I find that the cost of chasing a simple, minimalist lifestyle is incredibly prohibitive for the every day person.

As beautiful as these items are, and as much as I get sucked in by them, this is not the simple, minimal lifestyle I want.

I want a life made simple in moments.

Simple drawings with my daughter, not the neat lines of a designer dresser.

Simple in the mess of a kitchen with overflowing dishes, the smell of a cake in the oven and a wash in our dated bathtub because someone wanted to lick the spoon.

Simple in the amusement of stacking plastic cups and not worrying about the fact they’re not aesthetically pleasing bamboo utensils in muted hues.

Simple in the photos of my smiling family that don’t look picture perfect because I was too busy enjoying the moment than to edit the image with a pricey filter while they waited for me.

If you want to live simply. Do it. Live simply.

There is no product that you need. There is no podcast or book that will tell you truly how. I am not an expert. I am just someone on the journey, learning what it means to live a little simpler and by consequence I hope to find my days freer and fuller at the same time.

Hey Mumma, you won’t always know best

So many people will tell you to trust your gut as a parent. They say; don’t listen to the bombardment of advice and instead do what you think is best and everything will work out OK.

But sometimes it won’t. Sometimes you won’t chose what is best. And that’s OK. We’re all learning on this journey.

But can I encourage you, when you don’t know what is best to not throw out all the advice. Use your discretion to listen just to what could be helpful.

Yes, sometimes people will give you advice when you don’t need it and it won’t always be said in the best way, if you need to just let this go then do. But, there are so many people who have walked the path you’re walking and learnt more than a thing or two that could save you so much trouble.

I know when I was pregnant the sheer amount of advice from well meaning people started to make me really anxious because I realised just how little I knew. Instead of ignoring it all and choosing to forge my own course, I shutdown the real source of my anxiety (namely a Facebook mother’s group) and mostly just listened to the women close to me.

However, from time to time it may be necessary to thank everyone for their input and still go with your gut and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I just hope that you see the value in the experiences of others.

I’ve seen many new mums quick to complain about how their own mum or mother-in-law “interferes” with their parenting of their new child. People tend to respond to this with so-called encouragement to the new mum to “trust themselves” and to “stand up for themselves” by doing their own thing.

But, I wonder how much easier we might find life if we made the most of someone else’s experience and wisdom, instead of viewing it as a threat to our own capabilities?

You are smart and able. So are others. Let them help you and make your road smoother.

Three months post partum and fitter than ever

If someone ran a marathon and then spent the subsequent few weeks letting their bodies recover from the grueling effort would you say that series of events made them lose fitness?

No. I wouldn’t.

Then why do we say pregnancy and birth reduces a woman’s fitness?

Don’t get me wrong – and I want to be very clear here – one cannot and should not exercise at an intense level while pregnant and each woman should be extremely mindful about how they return to exercise after giving birth. However, the mindset that because I needed to reduce my exercise for 9 months and then rehabilitate my body afterwards means I am somehow weaker than before, could not be any further from the truth.

A marathoner spends week in week out training for this intense experience that is race day. Workouts and meals are all planned to prepare the body to handle the demands that running 42.2kms will place on it. The moment the runner trains for is brief in the scheme of things – only four or so hours compared with the weeks of training – and after the race is run, recovery is vital. It will involve plenty of rest, good food and a much lighter load of movement.

The very same can be said of a woman’s pregnancy journey. Nine months of her body and mind preparing in the lead up to the most concentrated and intense moment of her life.

Nearly 20 hours of labour with my daughter was more than just a means to an end.

It showed me I am stronger than I could have ever known.

It showed me I am braver than anyone could have made me believe.

It showed me I can endure more than I would have thought possible.

The same is true for all women. Swap 20 hours for your number, swap labour with c-section, swap pregnancy with IVF journey.

And after these 9 months, after those many intense hours people may say things like ‘you’ll bounce back’, ‘you’ll lose the baby fat’, ‘you’ll get your fitness back’, ‘you’re body will feel less broken one day’.

Oh mumma your body was never broken. Your fitness never left. You just ran a marathon and you got SO. MUCH. STRONGER.

 

 

Social media: The time cruncher

Everybody’s pet peeve is the same. I can almost guarantee you.

While one person might think their’s to be traffic jams, another person finds people who take more than the designated 12 items through the express checkout simply unbearable, or still another feels ridiculously slow internet upload speed is the worse thing they can bare. All these frustrations have one thing in common.

Time.

None of us like to have our time wasted. And almost anything that really annoys us has to do with this.

I’d say this has a lot to do with being largely impatient people, living in an instantaneous world. But it also has to do with the intrinsic value placed on our time.

When I started working full time I valued my time far more highly than I had before, because I suddenly had much less of it. Most of the hours from Monday to Friday had been written off for work and so now I found myself with precious few hours each night and on weekends that were mine to decide what to do with.

These hours are quickly filled however, with other commitments, simple necessities such as cleaning and organising meals, exercise and training, and the remainder dedicated to catch ups with friends and some time for myself to read and relax.

Whenever something unexpected comes up, I can be fully aware of it cutting into my quickly disappearing free time. Making the most of my time is the main reason I switched from driving to work every day, and consequently wasting almost 10 hours a week in traffic, to catching public transport and fitting in an hour of reading or listening to a podcast on the way to work and then another hour on the way home. My commute is now often the highlight of my day.

Several days ago I made a list of all the things I spend my time on, in an effort to find places where I can declutter my life and spend more time on the things I really care about.

I was slightly disappointed to find there was really hardly any wiggle room to cut anything at all, deeming it all too important.

Although, one small but significant user of my time could be amended and that was social media.

I wrote down the use of social media platforms on my list as it’s something I use every day so I know full well they must take up a fair amount of my time. I’m also the type of person who will recheck my newsfeeds within several minutes of closing the application for no good reason at all.

I’ve had intentions about changing this for a while now. While I still want a social media presence, I would like to shake the hold it’s got over me where I fear missing out on something significant if I haven’t read my newsfeed all the way back to the point I finished last time.

It’s funny how protective of our time we can be and how easily frustrated we get with things that demand our time and really give us nothing in return, such as waiting in queues or having to refill out an application, when we willing chose to engage with the thing that’s crunching away at huge portions of every day and leaving nothing of lasting benefit in our lives. More often than not it actually makes us lose any bit of contentment and joy we do have about our own lives, because of what we see in our feeds of what other people have. It’s something that would not have bothered us at all if we hadn’t decided to mindlessly scroll down the newsfeed for 15 minutes before heading to work.

So if you’re like me and feel like there’s never enough time to do the things you enjoy. Can I encourage you not to waste the time when you get it just checking how everybody else is spending there’s and whether yours measures up.

Disclaimer: If I’m being completely honest I was scrolling through my social media while writing this post. It probably meant I spent twice as long writing this.

 

Let’s put travel in perspective

Scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed – like any typical Friday (or Monday or Tuesday or any day for that matter) – I came across an article titled Why Not Quitting Your Job to Travel is a Waste of Your Life.

Wow!

Now I don’t know if your first thoughts upon reading that were at all like mine, but I was fairly taken aback.

First, let me put it out in the open that yes, I am a full time worker who has evidently not quit their job to travel. But, anyone who knows me knows that I love travelling. In fact, I have done more than many people’s fair share of travelling for my age. I owned a passport before the age of 4, have spent extended periods of time abroad, flown on multiple solo trips from 16 to countries where I didn’t speak the language and I have loved and treasured those experiences.

I truly believe that travel is far more than a money-can-buy-experience and teaches us many things… BUT, and I want people to understand this, travel is not the be all and end all and there is absolutely nothing wrong with having not been anywhere, nor having little desire to venture beyond one’s own shores.

Back in my grandparent’s days very few people could afford the luxury of holiday adventures. The concept of backpacking through Europe in your 20s, family holidays to Disneyland, snow adventures in Japan or exotic South American treks are relatively recent and have gained momentum fast.

People who have travelled little, or not at all, often receive a bizarre look as if they are from somewhere completely foreign (‘scuse the pun). There is nothing wrong with these people and I think we have a very valuable lesson we can learn from them – the importance of finding contentment wherever you find yourself and for however long you may be there.

When having seen as many places as possible on Earth as you can is highly regarded among our friends. It’s almost as if travel has become a bit of a competition, who’s been to the most remote place?  Who’s been to the most countries, airports included/excluded? Who’s climbed all 669 steps of the Eiffel tower? (For the record I have done that and never again!)

So, why do I have such a problem with the title of this article?

It’s simply this. The implication that those who have not travelled are wasting their life is quite frankly nonsense. Ask them what they’ve been doing with all the time they’ve had while you’ve been away and you’ll likely discover something pretty extraordinary. Maybe they’re creative and they’ve spent time writing a book or making music, maybe they’ve hung out with their friends and built fantastic relationships… or maybe they have followed ‘convention’ and ‘stereotypes’ *gasp* *scream* (the horror!) and got themselves a job. A job they’ve worked hard to get, a job they rock up to every day, some days joyfully others a little reluctantly but either way they’ve committed, they’ve pushed through the long days, the busy schedules, the mundane tasks, the irritable co-workers to bring home a wage for their family, or for their saving plan, or to work their way to their goal position.

Quitting a job to roam our beautiful earth can take courage, but more often the real courage is overlooked, of the people who choose to stay and find contentment in their lot.

By no means do I mean to kill your dream of seeing wild elephants in Africa or make you feel selfish for your wonderful adventures. For those of us who have travel consider yourself blessed, treasure your memories and continue to plan your next trip if that excites you and you are able, but may we consider there is far more important things than how many places we can tick off our bucket list.

For the record I do hope to continue to post travel articles to all the exciting places I visit because it’s something I love to do!